I went for a stroll the other day in seemingly perfect weather to go to the corner cafe. Life was good. I felt like a little French woman in my tights walking through town even though where I live looks nothing like the dainty French town I was envisioning in my head. There was a slight breeze that complimented the sun...that without it would have made it not as a pleasant a walk as it was. I began to just observe the world around me since I feel like I have been just letting it pass me by sometimes. I  passed by a homeless man sleeping- huddled with a face of painful sadness, children being happy and curious for reasons I have seemed to have forgotten, the elderly walking just to embrace the sun, and adults in the 'in-between' with wandering eyes on what they were to do next. And then I thought about about how the world viewed me. I guess this is more of an exercise on how I view myself which would ultimately be portrayed to the world. How do I carry myself? -  a reflection on how I feel about the myself and the world. I can say before, I walked not caring too much what people thought because I felt I was so fortunate for life(despite unfortunate incidents-it was the perspective I chose to live my life),and surprisingly confident in myself... although still relatively socially awkward....but I was okay with that. And the few people I held dear, appreciated that(or so I can only hope. things just seemed more genuine). Recently, I have felt a little lost in my actions. A little lost in my thoughts. Everything seemed premeditated. Predicted. There are more people to mingle with, connect with,  things to experience. But it is almost as if there are expectations for everything and each action- each move- is carefully planned out because one mistake, and the cookie will crumble. While I do realize that we all inevitably have expectations, sometimes I feel like it can consume us. And we sub-consciously play all these tricks and games in our heads to make things all go according to plan - a plan. A plan going for or against. It seemed as if I have started to mold myself. 'Join society'...if you will. I think a lot of this has to do with simply being constantly connected yet... socially disconnected. This is how I feel. And this seems like our new way of being social. Somebody recently told me that I lost my 'glow'... my 'sparks' as opposed to when I had first met them. I replied simply...I feel like I have lost something too. And perhaps it is because I am constantly worried about how people see me...even when nobody is there. And when I am in the presence of people....it's just strange...and a little fake( as it hit me this last 'gathering' in the flesh) So, this has been eating at me because I now realize a little bit more of what has been going on. And I guess I'll just try to be me again. go for more random walks without a care in the world. People can choose to accept this or not I suppose. In the end, all who truly care, will appreciate you just the way you are...as cliche as this all sounds. 

Just let things happen. Life is good. 

(Well, that just brought a smile to my face writing that.)   

Create a beat. Grace. Blood. Sweat. Tears. Smile. This is my Game face. 

How far can we push ourselves? If you want it, go get it.
Game on.